Is It Alright For Females to Pay for the First Date?

This seems to be a topic that is highly debated and I'm the right one to debate it with...

I have came across several discussions about females paying for the first date and it seems 8 out of 10 females refuse to pay, will not think about or consider paying and will diss a man because of it. But what I really want to know is - what is wrong with paying for the first date?

Ladies you have to understand that just because you pay for the first date - it does NOT mean you are thirsty. (Matter of fact - someone give me the dayum definition of thirsty cause I'm sick of seeing that word when the ones that use it the most are the actual ones that are 'thirsty') LOL

How can you call someone thirsty because they are doing what you won't do?

How can you call someone thirsty because they are being a 'grown' woman?

How can you call someone thirsty because she ain't out here trying to have a man pay for everything under the sun and constantly talking about they need a man to take care of them?

Newsflash sweetie - you are now the new definition of thirsty right along with ignorant.

I'm jus sayin... I'm sure someone is going to get mad but ask me if I care!?!?!

Like I was saying ... YOU ARE NOT THIRSTY - YOU ARE NOT A TRIX - YOU ARE NOT A CHILD - YOU ARE A GROWN WOMAN!

You are honestly letting him know that you can also handle your business with no questions being asked.

When you and a man have a common interest and y'all are feeling eachother - why are you waiting on him to make the 1st move? Why can't you? What is wrong with hitting him up and seeing if he would like to step out with you? What's wrong with saying -my treat?

I'm not saying all fellaz will let this ride because then again a man can sit back and see how far you are actually willing to go before he stops you and tells you that he got it. Show them that you got their back and trust and believe he will have your back.

All I'm saying is some people need to wake up ... In order to make things happen, you need to take that step. If I'm digging you - I have no problem taking you out and paying for it, I have no problem stepping out with you and paying for it as well - bottom line - I have no problem with it. If you are in the position to do it - then do it. Why concern yourself about what someone else is going to think of you because you paid for the first date? PHUCK DAT PERSON!!!! It is your life - not theirs. You can pass up a good thing just because you are stuck in 18th century.

Let me how you feel though? Do you feel it is alright for a female to pay for the first date?

Let's Talk....

You Are Not Hollywood -Venting

I have to get this off my chest or I'm going to keep getting mad about it. Shit happened last year but I still see it clear as day in my head as if it happened yesterday.

July 2009, me and my girl went to the Harlem Book Fair. I am in Indiana -yet I drove to VA and then to NY. Anyways, prior to going I had spoken with quite a few authors to let them know I would be there and was coming to their table so they can put a face to the name.

One author in particular acted like she was hollywood - lemme explain.

Me and my girl is at her table, looking at her books (remind you I already have majority of her books but she had another one that I was wanting) now we are standing there talking about her books and another author that is on her squad was with her as well. That author spoke and made eye contact but the main author we was trying to talk to didn't even bother to interact, NOT ONCE did she look up from packing up books, NOT ONCE did she acknoweldge somebody was at her table, NOT ONCE did she greet us, NOT ONCE did she say anything to us. I am standing there watching her because now I'm getting upset and my girl is holding her book talking about she wants to buy it. My whole attitude was slowly changing because again SHE NEVA LOOKED UP! I told my girl not to buy that book - phuck dat book and the author ...but my girl wanted it although I refused to buy any book and put the ones I had in my hand -back down.

You're still probably wondering why I got so bent out of shape - right? Peep this - my girl is buying the book - the 2nd author gets the book and hands it to the main author - do you know that she had the audacity to ask the other author what her name is? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT IS HER NAME? BITCH WE ARE STANDING RIGHT THE PHUCK HERE - ASK US WHAT OUR PHUCKIN NAMES ARE? TAKE OFF DA PHUCKIN SHADES - YOU ARE NOT HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That right there topped the cake and as soon - I do mean -as soon as I got home - her books were sold and given away - I have no one from her stable on my shelf and I refuse to buy any of her books. I hate to be like that but the READERS are the ones that is putting money in your pocket and you don't even have the common courtesy to treat us with respect. FUCK YOU! You don't have to worry about me buying your shit -I'll use it as a table leg if I need to but phuck yo books and phuck yo couch. That is sooo phreakin disrespectful! I just don't understand it. I thought maybe it was just me for a second but then more and more readers started talking about their experiences with the same author at different events and how she was stuck up and rude. That shit is crazy -- its authors out there that are WAY BETTER than you and so down to earth and respectful - but the bottom line -

DO NOT TREAT YOUR READERS LIKE THEY ARE BENEATH YOU!

SO I SAY AGAIN -

TAKE OFF THE SHADES - YOU ARE NOT HOLLYWOOD -ONLY HOLLYHOOD!!!!!!!!!

WTF? Woman Wakes Up @ Her Own Funeral

True Story: A 49 year old woman, Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, declared dead and prepared for burial in her coffin, woke up with mourners praying for her soul, started screaming, and died of shock within twelve minutes.

Austrian Times reports that husband Fagili Mukhametzyanov took his wife to the hospital in Kazan, Russia after she collapsed from chest pains.

48 hours later, friends and family gathered to wish her soul well—only she wasn’t dead.

Mr Mukhametzyanov told the Austrian Times, “Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes in intensive care before she died again, this time for good,” said Fagili, who now plans to sue the hospital.

“I am very angry and want answers. She wasn’t dead when they said she was and they could have saved her,” he told local media.

Does this not seem like a scene from Death Becomes Her, with an immortal Meryl Streep waking up in the morgue? Maybe a little Huck Finn and Tom spying on their own funeral? It’s doubtful Fagilyu took some elixir of immortality (especially since she’s dead now), so we have to ask: what is up with this Russian hospital?

Hospital spokesman Minsalih Sahapov said: “We are carrying out an investigation.”

I’m surprised Mr Mukhametzyanov didn’t die of shock himself.

Source - Scallywag and Vagabond

Happy Father's Day

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL MY REAL FATHER'S

AND TO ALL THE MOTHERS WHO ARE HOLDING IT DOWN ON BOTH SIDES

I know a lot of males who have kids but are NOT a father. Just because you have kids -does not give me the right to call you a father or daddy, regardless. I am quite sure someone is going to get mad but who gives a dayum. I just call it like I see it and I see that you are NOT a father. LOL

Maybe they need to do a Maury show saying ‘You Are NOT a Father’. It’s sad that there are so many males out here making kids but not stepping up to the plate and taking care of their business. You rather be in the club popping bottles, buying shoes for your car, buying up the mall but not once did you think about buying clothes for your child, buying food for your child, paying for child care or school books for your child. You are hurting yourself when it’s all said and done. That child will grow up and know who was there and who wasn’t and who kept making promises and breaking them every time.

Father’s Day should be a day where the father can sit back and relax and not be stressed about every little thing possible. I know it’s easier said than done but I look at Mother’s Day the same way. The only thing is –if you are not even doing shit for your seed –you don’t get no relaxation – matter of fact – you don’t get no respect from me at all. I could never ever see myself with someone who does not take care of their kids. If I happen to talk to someone and learn they got kids but not doing shit either – DISMISSED! I will speak on it and ask you why not and what the phuck is the problem but ultimately you will still be dismissed either way. Can’t no woman keep you away from your child. She can try but if you are serious about your kids than you are going to do what you have to do to see them and if that means taking her simple as s to court then so be it. I am not going to get on the ladies head right now because that will be all day but on the real Ladies – STOP USING YOUR KID CAUSE YOUR MAD AT THE FATHER- IF HE DOESN’T WANT YOU –MOVE ON; IF HE HAS ANOTHER WOMAN –MOVE ON; IF HE IS TRYING TO HANDLE HIS RESPONSIBILITIES AND YOU ARE BEING A BITCH – THEN YOU DESERVE TO BE CALLED ONE – NO IF’S AND’S OR BUT’S ABOUT IT!!

To my single mothers out there that is being a mother and a father – I salute you! I’m not talking about the ones who are playing games with the father but the ones who are doing it because the daddy doesn’t want to step up. I have a daughter. It is just me and her. The sperm donor moved to Cali when I was three months pregnant. The first time I spoke to him was February 2010 (my daughter is 4 now). I only spoke to them that month and I let him speak to his daughter. I did not get smart with me (although I wanted to), I did not waste my time or breath arguing with him (although I wanted to), and I did not and will not tell my daughter that her daddy is deadbeat (although I want to). That’s not in me. I feel that when she gets older and she truly inquires about her daddy than I will give her the information to contact him. If she wants to see him, I will find a way for that to happen. I will not keep her from the truth and when he decides to be a MAN I will not keep him from his daughter. Some females cannot do that – well I can. I am an only child and it is only me and my mom. I do not know my daddy nor have I ever met him- I get down and depressed at times but I know who’s been there for me and whose still there for me. My mom is my daddy and I have great male figures in my life that I can look at as my daddy.

All in all – if you have a seed out here in this cold world – you need to get your mind right and step up to the plate. This world is crazy and we are losing so many of our black boys and black man to the system, to the courts, to the graveyards, to the prisons and to the drugs. It’s not a pretty picture.

I’m sure I could continue on – but I’m not – what’s understood need not be said~think about it!

Panty Lines

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...

If your panty line is showing through your dress, shorts, or even pants - try something else. For some reason this irks the hell out of me. I should not be seeing your panty line through your clothes, especially when you are out and thinking you are hot shit. Its just not a good look. If I can see it, trust, he can to. LOL I'm jus saying - talk to me now.

There are boy shorts, thongs, panties and breezy (none at all). If you feel you cannot wear thongs or even boy shorts and put it together right, then truthfully jus be breezy about it. LOL

Your coochie needs air anyway so let it feel the breeze.

Now I know some may think it's nasty to walk around with no panties, but trust me when I tell you- it is the most comfortable thing possible. Dead serious.

Try it and then come back and talk to me.... let me know -

Is it ok to go without panties,

Should your panty lines show through your shorts, skirts or pants, or Should you chop it up and put some thongs on?

You tell me...

Good Mornin

Good Morning

Happy Friday to everyone. I woke up feeling good, feeling blessed, feeling fine and feeling 'Mocha'licious!!! Over the past year I been saying I was going to start working out and getting my stomach back down and toning up. This morning, me and my sister decided to get up early, stretch and ride bikes for an hour. Whew! That hour felt like three or four. LOL But I'm happy that we did it and tomorrow we will walk for an hour.

It's a lot going on in the world to the point that its scary to be up early because there are so many sick people out here in the world snatching people. I ask that everyone who is out -no matter what time of the day- to be careful. Always let someone know where you are heading or something because life is short and the end is near. I say that because each year is more worse than the year before.

I remember when we would hang out until the wee hours of the morning and not worry about the bullshit. When we could go to the clubs and if a mofo was about to fight than thats what it was - it wasn't all this pistol play that is going on now. Riding up and down 38th street - stuck in traffic - enjoying life. Now you wouldn't catch me riding up and down 38th - I mean for what?? The generation I came up with is the same generation on they grown man or grown woman 'ish and moving on in life.

Plus you just don't wanna be caught up in no bullshit out here in this world.

Everyone is always looking forward to Friday because its the start of their weekend. I look forward to waking up because its the continuation of my blessings. ~you like that don't you! :)

Happy Friday LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chivalry Is Not Dead

Fellaz: I'm not sure if this generation or this year or what's going on but

Chivalry Is Not Dead.

I often sit back and watch how people interact - whether as a couple or solo. No matter where you are at you should still have manners. (I'm sure you was taught this in kindergarten) sheesh

I cannot stand a man who pushes a door open wide enough for someone to slide through - that shit right there will get you cussed out ON SITE!! That's ridiculous. You would not want someone doing your mom like that so why would you treat random females like that - trust me - you are not that cute.

I was sitting in a restaraunt one day and noticed a couple coming in - they were holding hands - so yes I assume they are a couple. Anyways, I wanted to see how he treated her (people watching is fun lol). As I was watching them being led to their table - the man put his hand on the small of her back and walked with her behind the hostess. Once to their table - he pulled her chair out, waited til she was seated, and then walked to his chair and sat down. Phreakin loved it and because I wanted to see if he would order for her I stayed seated a little while longer. LOL

The waitress came and took their drink orders - he ordered water for them both and another drink - the woman not once said anything. Drinks placed - menu time - waitress comes back and asks what they would like to eat. He looks at her, smiles, and orders for her - her face lights up and she feels loved -wanted- and needed. Now I'm not saying all men need to order for the woman -naw nothing like that cause I just may switch up and not get what I normally get but while yall are going through the menu -this should be something that yall are already discussing - feel me? But again - CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don't understand how you want to talk to someone but not once do you offer help. If you come over and know I am a single female with a child - would it kill you to offer to take the trash out or are you too good for that? Would it kill you to grab the door while I grab the other items -or are you too good for that? Would it kill you to get your punk ass out the car and pump the gas or are you to good for that? I didn't ask you to put anything on the gas and I even went in and paid but yet you stayed your punk ass in the car. Get Da Phuck Outta Here - I mean seriously!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO DISMISSED!

I was once talking to a guy before, ya know being cordial going through the routine of getting to know him. He seemed like a kewl person but hmmmm no assistance.

I was actually pregnant at the time, it was snow outside (Indiana weather) and I had a runway (long ass sidewalk) to walk just to get to my car. I was outside shoveling snow - do you think he asked if I needed help? Better yet, do me 1 better - DO NOT ASK ME - JUST DO IT!!! Needless to say he was dismissed and I could give 2 shits about him. After that I had someone who was always trying to talk to me drive by while I was shoveling and honked their horn and kept driving. Well they couldn't of been in too big of a rush cause 5-10 minutes later they drove they ass back by me- no they didn't stop and I didn't bother to save a number in my phone. LOL

Fellaz - you're quick to say we don't let you be the man - well step it up than and you might not have that problem. I'm Jus Sayin...

I'm jus sayin -- its not that you have to be her slave or anything - woman appreciate the small gestures too and showing that you care about if shes going to slip and fall on that snow or hurt her back while shoveling -- she'll be grateful and maybe a little more open towards you -- im jus sayin --- coz dats real.

The moment you see me stepping over inches of snow -trying to get to my car -- and you stop and talk about everything except asking me if I need help -- YOU ARE DISMISSED!!!!!!!!!!!
IM JUS SAYIN LOL you will be looked at as a peasant instead of a king .... do you understand me now?!

Talk to me -- let me know what are your thoughts on this?? Is chivalry dead to you or is our younger generation not being taught right?

Jus Ask Mocha - Is This Hoeish?

Mocha,

As I'm getting older I want to try different things .. I like sex and love having it. Recently I slept with 2 guys in the same house in the same area ... 1 got done , i was still ready to go so me and the other one started. When he finished the 1st person came back and we went back at it and then i went straight to sleep. (one was watching / playing on their phone while I was having sex with the other person) I am close to 30 but I am enjoying life. Am i wrong? Do you consider this hoeish?

My twin sister,

No you are not wrong. I had to call you my twin because I also love having sex. I love the stimulation - the pleasure - the orgasm. Even if it's not with a male counterpart - my motto is, 'There's a toy for that.' Your type of party sound like my type of party.

Do I consider it whorish? HELL NO!

Do I consider you a whore? HELL NO

Do I think you were wrong? WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I THINK THAT!

Would I tell you to keep having fun? HELL YEA!

Some classify a hoe as a woman who will fuck anything. A woman who is promiscuous, easy, and a slut. Now my question is – why is it that men can fuck every chick that opens their legs and only be called dogs but if we do it, then we're called a hoe or a slut? I don't like it – but call me what ya want just don't call me broke. :)

Yes I said it – one way or another every man has been a trick – love it or hate it- it is what it is.

Anyways... I thought somewhere in your question you was going to say you had a threesome (cause you were very close to doing just that) but instead you like having sex and knowing someone is watching turns you on even more. I feel the same – it's the thrill of it all that makes you want to put on a show. Some will turn their nose up at us but trust and believe they are also wanting to try it.

There is nothing you did that was wrong – you had multiple orgasms (I hope) and I'm sure they enjoyed it especially if the 1^st person waited and then came back again for another round. If it was up to them I'm sure they would of wanted a threesome lol but it's not up to them. It's our body and we will only let you go as far as WE want you to. Men need to understand that then they might be better off later on down the road.

Don't feel bad for anything that you have did, I applaud you for stepping out side of the box and living it up.

NO GLOVE! NO LOVE! Make sure the life saver is on before they dip in the deep end!

~Mocha~

Welcome

Well hello there... Let me introduce myself

My name is Mocha - I will be your host and yes I can be very explicit and vulgar - so you have been warned.

I currently write book reviews, articles on love, sex and relationships, I also do 'Jus Ask Mocha' columns where I keep it nothing but real with you. All emails are confidential and you will remain anonymous!!!! You can send questions to jusaskmocha@gmail.com (jus is without the 't' so please do not get mad if the email doesn't go through lol).

Anyways .... If you find anything I say, write, type, post or whatever offensive -- then ummm close the blog down and keep it moving.

I am a mother so I speak on that as well and ask opinions - I am learning no matter how old my daughter is or how 'young' I get. I enjoy reading, promoting, modeling, xbox (yes I'm a gamer), networking, meeting new people and overall having fun and enjoying life.

Don't be shy, come with an open mind, relax and enjoy yourself.

Welcome!!!!